Jan 30, 2012

We Beat Philip R. Klein!

After two-and-a-half years, Judge Donald Floyd of the 172nd District Court denied Philip R. Klein's 202 petition that would have authorized Google to release account information about this blog and the Sam The Eagle Political Review blog. According to our research, we believe this to be the longest-running 202 petition in the history of Texas jurisprudence:

In the original petition, PRK sought a court order that would have forced Google to release our account information on Operation Kleinwatch and the Sam the Eagle Political Review.
We mandamused Judge Floyd on his original decision to allow an illegal subpoena of this information from Google. After the 9th Court of Appeals upheld Judge Floyd's decision, we filed our mandamus with the Texas Supreme Court.

The high court reversed Judge Floyd's decision and held that releasing this information without an evidentiary hearing on the merits of Klein's arguments was indeed improper. The court rebuked Philip and noted that his allegations and evidence were "sketchy," and with their decision, the court set precedence in Texas on the proper use of these 202 petitions.

The decision is now published in the Southwest Reporter and I'm forever known as John Doe 1. Philip R. Klein now known forever as serial abuser of our state courts.
The order was rescinded and remanded back to Judge Floyd. After repeated attempts by our attorneys and much foot-dragging by Philip R. Klein and his attorney, John S. Morton, Esq., an evidentiary hearing was held on Jan. 17, in which PRK introduced NO evidence to support his claims that we invaded his privacy, stole his copyrighted work, inflicted emotional duress on him and his family, or defamed him.

We did, however, admit that we posted a parody of a dog magazine with Philip on the front cover - the title of the article: "Fat Men Who Love Their Dogs Too Much," as a parody of this piece from MSNBC. Draw your own conclusions, but according to Philip's arguments, he apparently believes we exposed his penchant for dating farm animals.

Special and Important Notes

Firstly, to our attorney, Jeffrey L. Dorrell: You are the best! Your well-executed arguments were spot on and deadly. As we've discussed, watching your filings go by was analagous to watching someone drop pianos on Philip from a 10-story window. I don't have the words (believe it or not) to express the gratitude I feel over your participation.

Thank you, Jeffrey, truly you are the real hero in all of this! I salute your dedication to protecting our First Amendment rights. And, reading your written arguments served as an important intellectual respite from Philip's childish, but mind-numbing gibberish.
To Philip R. Klein: the original thesis of this blog still stands - you are a scurrilous piece of human flotsam. I'm now absolutely sure you're a liar, as our attorneys showed when cross-examining you under oath.

Really, no one believes that new story you concocted about surveiling Brent Coon's office - unless one has X-ray and telescopic vision (which I'm sure you believe you do), no one can read a computer monitor through a window from 100 feet away when the monitor is actually facing away from the window.

Philip, eat my shorts.

To Brent Coon and the other named parties in this suit:
I am sorry that all of you were dragged into this suit, based on Philip's wild and crazy speculations. As I've repeatedly pointed out on this blog, I'm not associated in any way with you, nor do I even know you.

These claims are more representative of Philip's emotional problems and poor self-esteem - he obviously believes he's much too important to be ridiculed by one old man and a free blogger account. I'm truly sorry for the time and emotional energy you've had to expend, but I greatly appreciate your patience and support.

Your attorney Jason Cansler deserves special thanks, too - Jason and Jeffrey gutted Philip on the stand. Thanks!

To my readers:
It's safe to come out again! I can't tell you how much your support meant to me. I've (literally) heard from hundreds of people in the past several years, many with their own stories about Philip. Many have signed their names and some of those truly stunned me. I don't think I realized how many people that Philip has wronged, either through his words or deeds, in the past years. Without that support, this blog couldn't go on - for this I am truly grateful.

I sincerely apologize for letting the blog go dark over the past months. I originally intended this blog as an entertaining hobby. As this suit wore on, I spent way too much of my own personal time and energy fighting Philip in the courts and my interest in keeping this blog up-to-date waned. I really am an old man who enjoys ridiculing idiots who insist upon thrusting themselves into the middle of any debate.

And, I hit a wall - after several years of deconstructing Philip's spurious arguments, exposing his blatant lies, and uncovering his hidden agendas, I discovered that Philip just kept repeating the same tired allegations.

For example, I've lost count of the number of times that Philip has claimed Judge Layne Walker was "under investigation" and that "charges are pending." I suspect that Philip's most recent attack on Judge Walker has more to do with the custody suit brought by John Morgan, Philip's attorney, against his ex-wife, than Philip's silly "investigations."

Roughly 3,000 people followed this blog regularly during it's most active periods, so I have this to say: there is more to come, so check back regularly. I've only just begun - look for an extreme makeover of this blog in the next few months.

As a special preview, I plan to review Philip's forthcoming book on Patrick McDermott's underwear. That is, if the book ever sees print. According to popular rumor, Philip's contract with an Australian publishing firm was canceled after pre-sale orders were so abysmal that the publishers realized no one cared about Philip R. Klein and his paid vacations to Cabo San Lucas and L.A.

And lastly, to my cohort and friend, Sam the Eagle:
Sam, if only we could tell the whole story! Though I had no idea who you were before Philip filed this lawsuit, you've become a close and valued friend in the past 30 months.

Thanks for occasionally saying some things that I felt uncomfortable saying - as you know, I don't use profanity, but sometimes your four-letter words are more devastating than pages of my meanderings.

Job well done, Sam! Should we invite Philip when we offer a toast to the next five years of ridicule and satire?