Mar 21, 2012

Philip R. Klein: Cheese and Whine

Jeffrey Dorrell, the attorney who represents Sam and I, posted an Amazon.com review on the first release by Klein Publishing, Lost at Sea: The Hunt for Patrick McDermott (The Klein Files). Note this is the digital Kindle edition.

You can read more about Jeffrey’s book report in the article I published on March 19, 2012.

On March 20, 2012, Philip sent a letter via fax and a hard copy via USPS to Jeffrey’s firm, Escamilla, Poneck, and Cruz, LLC. In this letter, he complained about the book report. You can read all of Klein’s whiny letter here.

Among my favorite parts:


Lesson learned: when sending a complaint letter to an office full of attorneys, always spell “litigants” correctly, else the lawyers will think you’re a fool.

Philip also responded with his own review of Jeffrey's review (grammatical train wrecks are italicized):

To The Readers, March 20, 2012
By Philip R. Klein

This review is from: Lost at Sea: The Hunt for Patrick McDermott (The Klein Files) (Kindle Edition)


To The Reader : Thank you for considering buy our book. Everyone is entitled to their opinion - but in full disclosure - Mr. Dorrell is an attorney that we have a complaint against with the State Bar of Texas. This is his way of retaliation towards me and our team. As unethical as Mr. Dorrell is - and bringing a legal fight to a forum such as this says more about Mr. Dorrell. Along with Mr. Dorrell is his clients that have also written on this page. Again, we hope that you read the book and we hope that you draw your own conclusions. Thank you for considering to buy our book.

Another lesson learned:
when trying to convince potential readers that you're a credible author of a cheesy book, always use a proper infinitive, use proper punctuation, don't write in sentence fragments, and make sure all subjects and verbs agree, else the consumers will think you're a fool. Jeffrey got an A+ for his book report; Philip got an F.

Special note to Philip R. Klein: Regarding the lie that I've also "written on this page," I have not.

Furthermore, I haven't read the book, since you're apparently too cheap to send two autographed copies to Sam and I. You can send them to our attorney's attention at the same address where you sent your whiny letter, but please be sure and spell Jeffrey's name correctly.

You'll know when I leave my review, because I'll use my pen name, Gus Pillsbury.

On a side note, apparently Amazon.com isn't selling too many of the books, since they're now giving it away:


Any comment, Philip?

32 comments :

Anonymous said...

TOO FUNNY! Philip had to review his own book to get a positive rating. HA!

Anonymous said...

See, we told you he couldn't write.

Anonymous said...

Phil Klein is a real life sitcom.

Anonymous said...

Klein's career as an author may be shorter than his career as burger flipper.

Anonymous said...

I bet Klein was that fat kid who always dumped the Monopoly board when he landed on Boardwalk and couldn't pay up.

Anonymous said...

Gus, you're the best.

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO, love the part where philly boy is sending a copy of the letter to his legal counsel in New York, Los Angeles, Beaumont, Toronto, Frankfurt, Johannesburg and Bangkok. This jerk doesn't impress anyone.

Anonymous said...

From the daily reader mail:

"I have been hear for over 10 years."

Fil, fil, fil! Really. Surely you don't expect us to believe that your "readers" spell as badly as you do? You really are a fool.

Courthouse Employee said...

PHILIP KLEIN: Your full of shit. If you had any idea what a laughing stock you really are, you'd move to Comal County and become a democrat.

Anonymous said...

You need to leave this pathetic character alone now. It's more and more looking like bullying. His family needs to step in already and get him some professional help. An intervention is long overdue.

Anonymous said...

Where is the "like" button for all these comments? Keep up the great work Gus.

Anonymous said...

Philip, always remember that the verb of a sentence must agree with the subject in number and in person.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:52PM:

You'll first have to explain what a verb and suject is.

Anonymous said...

HAHA, Gus it is good to have you back and in rare form. Same goes for the commentors. Best entertainment value in town!

Anonymous said...

Looks like Phillip solved the case of the missing key chains. Nasty work but someone has to do it.

Anonymous said...

In the same blog (accessed via Gus and anonymouse.org) Klein mentioned "one of our crack sources." Hmmmm.

Anonymous said...

More from "reader mail":

" I want to cover several things here so less start with KFDM "

Fil, I'm wondering what time of the day you write these emails to yourself! Why don't you print out "reader email" and have one of your many staff persons transcribe them for you. Afterall, such a menial task is far below the "editor's" responsibility.

Anonymous said...

Klein's new "story" about the new entry into the airport claims Jefferson County "stores lots of cars there." That's Philpott Motors' fleet sales depot. Philpott rents space from Jefferson County to store its cars there, thus earning the county some revenue. Checking into things before stating them as facts really does help in valid public discourse.

Anonymous said...

"I want to cover several things here so less start with KFDM. I remember the day when they sign on the air, I remember coming home from school a watching the goings on of the the James commission. What happen to the real investigate reporters?"
Really? This is a letter from someone who reads PRK? Gives you an idea of his "fans" capacity.
I believe KFDM did televise the James Commission hearings. I don't know that Larry Beaulieu broke the story. Maybe it was Jerry Jordan, using one of his many clever ID badges.

Anonymous said...

FYI- a professor at Lamar University wrote the book for Klein. The joke at Lamar- Klein couldn't write a grocery list.

Anonymous said...

Not only is Gus back and in top form, but so is Sam the Eagle, the other half of a tag team that examines PRK's rants and raves:

http://www.notthisonetoojacques.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

http://andersonvision.com/the-klein-files-lost-at-sea-the-hunt-for-patrick-mcdermott/

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:26 the link you posted was GREAT.

Anonymous said...

PRK is too stupid to realize how stupid he really is!!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder where that moron got his information that Weaver will be moving into that building on Jerry Ware drive...The county just leased that space to an engineering firm..

Anonymous said...

Interesting read about "Are bloggers journalists?" question:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidcoursey/2012/03/29/are-bloggers-really-journalists-not-if-they-ask-for-money/

Anonymous said...

beaumont port arthur came out first fattest city
could it be
neverland author filup rrred slime

Spurger Burger said...

actually they came out 5th fattest city, but good try

Anonymous said...

Interesting Thursday?

http://www.notthisonetoojacques.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

So, it sounds like PRK will be helping Brent pay his back taxes?

And maybe a vacation for Brent's attorney?

Anonymous said...

In Klein's latest jerk of uninformed spew, he whips up fear about Lamar, which he said is beset by a crime wave, surrounded by rent houses (a college campus! People renting!), and low income. The horror! Also, private business needs to get in there and invest! Well, there are new private apartments at MLK and Cardinal. And where did the late, unlamented Foxy Lady (heh) go? It's a convenience store-gas station that will open within days. Oh, too bad! He was so close!

Anonymous said...

with all this honesty and ethics
was there a closure and disclosure
regards the nonprofits funds for jacobs house gadfly foundation inc with tuuna
show us the paperwork, accounting, along with a copy of your check or receipt to reading project, should have been spelling writing project